Hi Guys,
It's 1:30 AM on 17.4.2012
I am tired but not so tired that I would go to sleep; I got up and played some SC2 (in gold now which is nice) but even that didn't tire me; my son woke up @ 12.42 he wanted his dummy (6 months old now).
I was driving in the car today with him in his carseat; I looked back and relised that I had to drop him at daycare, this made me a little bit sad. It's not the first time that I have had to drop him at daycare, it's not the last. I don't know what it was today, but I just didn't want to let him go, it's weird 6 months ago this wasn't an issue for me I would've been all like pfft it's not that hard just do it. God my life has changed in 6 months/15 months/18 months.
6 months ago I didn't have my son/15 months ago my girlfriend wasn't pregnant/18 months ago I didn't have a girlfriend.
It's weird to look back on just how quickly and slowly at the same time it's happened, I remember counting the days until he was born, but my gosh have 6 months flown. I remember wondering if I would ever have a girlfriend, let alone a child, but my gosh have 18 months flown. I was young back then, not that I am old now, but I have once again matured, stepped into the next stage of my life. It makes me happy that I have a family now it changes everything, nothing I do is for myself anymore, everything is for them. It makes me happy to do everything for them.
If I could I would make their wildest dreams come true just to see the smiles and enjoyment on all their faces, alas I need time to work on that. I will make it happen I can assure them of that. I often wonder what the future holds for me, what crossroads it will throw up, what decisions I will be given, what roadblocks I will have to endure. At the moment I enjoy each day that I spend with my family, this is the only thing I know will continue into the future.
My family mean the world to me; I would not be the person that I am today without them.
Ryan
Monday, 16 April 2012
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Saturday - 5/11
Hi Guys,
Actually wrote guts there... pretty awkward!
So this isn't really a blog about anything in particular, it's more for the reason that I am bored!
My child has been in this world for 3w5d now, loving every minute of it.
Was just reading a story about how 2 x 7 year olds were diagnosed with cancer, and they are fighting it.
Those stories take on a different meaning these days, all I can think about (going to sound heartless) is glad that's not my son. I would hate to be in the situation that those parents are in, but god you have to have respect for the poor children that are going through it, parents also.
If I had the money, I would donate it just because I know that if I was in that situation I would stop at nothing to help my child, so it's only fair.
So here I sit on a Saturday night, doing work, how my life has started to change. Normally I would be drinking and watching the footy, at a social event or party of some sort or playing the computer/console to pass the time!
My son is making me so tired, it's not fun!
I had a massive headache yesterday, the panadol got rid of it, but god did it hurt. I don't blame him for it, I know that he doesn't know what he is doing, but gosh darn it I cannot wait until he sleeps through the night (I assume the first night he does it I will wake up in fear, cause it will be out of the norm).
Going to work 5 days a week is really making it quite hard, I just know that I am going to miss out on heaps of stuff, makes me jealous a little of my girlfriend. She gets to see it all, until she goes back to work. But it's not just the missing out that it hard, it's the fact that it's work, so not enjoying it as much as I used to, with my son at home. Unfortunately as my parents used to say money doesn't grow on trees (would be much easier if I had such a device), so I need to work to provide for my family.
My son can do farts, to keep up with the best of them, only just before my brother questioned whether it was me who did one, only for me to turn around and say it wasn't, we both looked at my son.
Today was a really boring day, I played a little bit of SC2 to pass the time and cooked dinner, but didn't get to sleep in until almost 2PM like my other half did (lucky her).
Well my son is starting to make noise and I just got a whiff of something not quite right, believe it to be his nappy, so I best be going.
Catch ya,
Ryan
Actually wrote guts there... pretty awkward!
So this isn't really a blog about anything in particular, it's more for the reason that I am bored!
My child has been in this world for 3w5d now, loving every minute of it.
Was just reading a story about how 2 x 7 year olds were diagnosed with cancer, and they are fighting it.
Those stories take on a different meaning these days, all I can think about (going to sound heartless) is glad that's not my son. I would hate to be in the situation that those parents are in, but god you have to have respect for the poor children that are going through it, parents also.
If I had the money, I would donate it just because I know that if I was in that situation I would stop at nothing to help my child, so it's only fair.
So here I sit on a Saturday night, doing work, how my life has started to change. Normally I would be drinking and watching the footy, at a social event or party of some sort or playing the computer/console to pass the time!
My son is making me so tired, it's not fun!
I had a massive headache yesterday, the panadol got rid of it, but god did it hurt. I don't blame him for it, I know that he doesn't know what he is doing, but gosh darn it I cannot wait until he sleeps through the night (I assume the first night he does it I will wake up in fear, cause it will be out of the norm).
Going to work 5 days a week is really making it quite hard, I just know that I am going to miss out on heaps of stuff, makes me jealous a little of my girlfriend. She gets to see it all, until she goes back to work. But it's not just the missing out that it hard, it's the fact that it's work, so not enjoying it as much as I used to, with my son at home. Unfortunately as my parents used to say money doesn't grow on trees (would be much easier if I had such a device), so I need to work to provide for my family.
My son can do farts, to keep up with the best of them, only just before my brother questioned whether it was me who did one, only for me to turn around and say it wasn't, we both looked at my son.
Today was a really boring day, I played a little bit of SC2 to pass the time and cooked dinner, but didn't get to sleep in until almost 2PM like my other half did (lucky her).
Well my son is starting to make noise and I just got a whiff of something not quite right, believe it to be his nappy, so I best be going.
Catch ya,
Ryan
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Hi Guys,
So whilst driving to work I had some things running through my mind.
I was thinking about the fact that to be anything in this world you need to have some qualifications/experience, however there are some things that this doesn't apply to. One such instance "being a parent".
Now I am not saying that before you become a parent you have to go adopt X amount of kids and adequately care for them (would help in some instances).
I am more talking about how the court system works.
My partner (Miss K) has a child to another person.
This person doesn't have the qualification/experience/thought process to be a parent, none of this can be proved however, it is merely an opinion of mine.
I have seen his son in tears due to the fact that he gets no 1-on-1 time with his dad. A couple of examples below:
- He once asked me why his dad lied to him (had only recently had a discussion on why lieing is bad) and said that it would only be his dad and him when they went out to a restaurant. His dad instead of spending 1-on-1 time with his son, decided that it was a good time for his current girlfriend and a few mates to come along as well. He tried to by his son of with a couple of matchbox cars.
- He once was in tears due to the fact that he had gone to his dad's for the weekend ( something my partner tried to encourage him to be in his life more) and that his dad had left him for the night and let him stay with his Grandma (dad's mother). Whilst this time is good, it doesn't replace the 1-on-1 time between a father and a son.
Another couple of things that have proved to me that his own needs are put before his son's is the fact that he will not sign any documentation required to provide Master C with a passport (we weren't going anywhere at the time, just wanting to get stuff organised for if we wanted to).
Child support - Whilst we don't need the money to support ourselves, it does help. The way I see it is dad pays 50% mum pays 50% of everything. This isn't the way it works however, instead it's a $8 contribution (enough to buy 2-3 coffees if that). Why even bother CSA?? It takes two to tango so they say, so make it fair! Don't punish the one who does the right thing!!!!
The fact that this person is classified in the same group (being a father) that I am in now, really annoys me. I believe that I am 10 times the father that he will ever be/wants to be to his son.
Unfortunately he will always be classified as a father, unless he were to give up his right. He isn't going to do that though, his son is his trophy, his greatest achievement in life - It's the ACE card when picking up girls, the look at me I care about my son factor. That of which isn't true.
Now I am only a relatively new biological father, but I could never live with myself if I made my son cry for being selfish. It would tear me to pieces knowing that I have let him down. I don't ever want to see my son cry, I know that he will though!
Anyway enough of my rant!
Signing off Ryan!
So whilst driving to work I had some things running through my mind.
I was thinking about the fact that to be anything in this world you need to have some qualifications/experience, however there are some things that this doesn't apply to. One such instance "being a parent".
Now I am not saying that before you become a parent you have to go adopt X amount of kids and adequately care for them (would help in some instances).
I am more talking about how the court system works.
My partner (Miss K) has a child to another person.
This person doesn't have the qualification/experience/thought process to be a parent, none of this can be proved however, it is merely an opinion of mine.
I have seen his son in tears due to the fact that he gets no 1-on-1 time with his dad. A couple of examples below:
- He once asked me why his dad lied to him (had only recently had a discussion on why lieing is bad) and said that it would only be his dad and him when they went out to a restaurant. His dad instead of spending 1-on-1 time with his son, decided that it was a good time for his current girlfriend and a few mates to come along as well. He tried to by his son of with a couple of matchbox cars.
- He once was in tears due to the fact that he had gone to his dad's for the weekend ( something my partner tried to encourage him to be in his life more) and that his dad had left him for the night and let him stay with his Grandma (dad's mother). Whilst this time is good, it doesn't replace the 1-on-1 time between a father and a son.
Another couple of things that have proved to me that his own needs are put before his son's is the fact that he will not sign any documentation required to provide Master C with a passport (we weren't going anywhere at the time, just wanting to get stuff organised for if we wanted to).
Child support - Whilst we don't need the money to support ourselves, it does help. The way I see it is dad pays 50% mum pays 50% of everything. This isn't the way it works however, instead it's a $8 contribution (enough to buy 2-3 coffees if that). Why even bother CSA?? It takes two to tango so they say, so make it fair! Don't punish the one who does the right thing!!!!
The fact that this person is classified in the same group (being a father) that I am in now, really annoys me. I believe that I am 10 times the father that he will ever be/wants to be to his son.
Unfortunately he will always be classified as a father, unless he were to give up his right. He isn't going to do that though, his son is his trophy, his greatest achievement in life - It's the ACE card when picking up girls, the look at me I care about my son factor. That of which isn't true.
Now I am only a relatively new biological father, but I could never live with myself if I made my son cry for being selfish. It would tear me to pieces knowing that I have let him down. I don't ever want to see my son cry, I know that he will though!
Anyway enough of my rant!
Signing off Ryan!
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Silver - Why Blizzard?
Hi Guys,
So this is a bit of a blog about another love of mine!
Gaming, it's something that I don't want to stop doing as it is extremely releases stress so easy (who would've thought that killing of other creatures in a game would do that).
Recently however it has caused my stress levels to rise due to one game that I play that of which is Starcraft 2. See what has happened is that I have been demoted down a league (probably due to in-activity) which if you read my last blog you will see why.
Gaming will never interfere with the bringing up of my children or the attention that I to pay to my partner, I can guarantee that fact.
It does take me back to the life I had before I met my partner/had children and I still enjoy it immensely, and this is why I still do it, also to release the stress as mentioned above.
I will focus on that last point "the life I had before", don't get me wrong I absolutely am loving life at the moment and I know that I will grow over the next few years into somewhat of a different person from my current self, however I also feel that I don't want to lose what I was just for the sake of it. I played games before I met my partner (probably due to not having a partner) and this gave me a different aspect of a social life (no not a nerdy guy with glasses) I drank/went out/did stuff. However I made some good friends playing games and that's the aspect that I don't want to turn my back on
Anyway I am getting distracted talking to an old mate, so I will leave it there for the minute.
Ryan!
So this is a bit of a blog about another love of mine!
Gaming, it's something that I don't want to stop doing as it is extremely releases stress so easy (who would've thought that killing of other creatures in a game would do that).
Recently however it has caused my stress levels to rise due to one game that I play that of which is Starcraft 2. See what has happened is that I have been demoted down a league (probably due to in-activity) which if you read my last blog you will see why.
Gaming will never interfere with the bringing up of my children or the attention that I to pay to my partner, I can guarantee that fact.
It does take me back to the life I had before I met my partner/had children and I still enjoy it immensely, and this is why I still do it, also to release the stress as mentioned above.
I will focus on that last point "the life I had before", don't get me wrong I absolutely am loving life at the moment and I know that I will grow over the next few years into somewhat of a different person from my current self, however I also feel that I don't want to lose what I was just for the sake of it. I played games before I met my partner (probably due to not having a partner) and this gave me a different aspect of a social life (no not a nerdy guy with glasses) I drank/went out/did stuff. However I made some good friends playing games and that's the aspect that I don't want to turn my back on
Anyway I am getting distracted talking to an old mate, so I will leave it there for the minute.
Ryan!
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Birth of a Doctor
Hi Guys,
So my first blog, it's strange writing in a dairy/journal and I swore till I was blue in the face that I would never have a blog!
How things change, I was actually going to start this on the 10/10/2011 (which is the birth date of my son), but things were kind of hectic that day and alas it didn't happen. Two and a bit weeks later and finally I have started the blog.
I sit here with my son (let's call him Doc) looking at me. It still amazes me that I have another human being that is entirely dependent on me, well me and his mother (Miss K).
Every time Doc looks at me my heart melts a little bit, he is by far one of the best looking babies I have ever seen (takes after me of course and no I am not biased). I want to cherish every moment with him and at the same time cannot wait to see where his life takes him.
I call him Doc due to his first initials (D.R) and the fact that he could grow to be whatever he wants and will have the intelligence to get him there.
When he was born everybody said that it will be life-changing you won't know what hit you etc.. anybody who has had children will know what people say! Yes it was life-changing, but in a good way. It made me realise that, I wasn't only just becoming a dad, that I had been a Dad ever since I met Miss K.
See what I haven't talked about is the fact that Miss K has another child (Master C), to that of which I get the pleasure of helping bring up. I love Master C as if he was my own child and I treat him that way. Before Doc's birth I used to think I wasn't a dad, how wrong I was!
I am loving life at the moment and look forward to the joys that I will experience in the coming days/weeks/months/years, hopefully all of which shall be documented now that I have this blog.
Well I think that's enough for tonight, so I will sign off for now!
Catch you all on the flip-side
Ryan!
So my first blog, it's strange writing in a dairy/journal and I swore till I was blue in the face that I would never have a blog!
How things change, I was actually going to start this on the 10/10/2011 (which is the birth date of my son), but things were kind of hectic that day and alas it didn't happen. Two and a bit weeks later and finally I have started the blog.
I sit here with my son (let's call him Doc) looking at me. It still amazes me that I have another human being that is entirely dependent on me, well me and his mother (Miss K).
Every time Doc looks at me my heart melts a little bit, he is by far one of the best looking babies I have ever seen (takes after me of course and no I am not biased). I want to cherish every moment with him and at the same time cannot wait to see where his life takes him.
I call him Doc due to his first initials (D.R) and the fact that he could grow to be whatever he wants and will have the intelligence to get him there.
When he was born everybody said that it will be life-changing you won't know what hit you etc.. anybody who has had children will know what people say! Yes it was life-changing, but in a good way. It made me realise that, I wasn't only just becoming a dad, that I had been a Dad ever since I met Miss K.
See what I haven't talked about is the fact that Miss K has another child (Master C), to that of which I get the pleasure of helping bring up. I love Master C as if he was my own child and I treat him that way. Before Doc's birth I used to think I wasn't a dad, how wrong I was!
I am loving life at the moment and look forward to the joys that I will experience in the coming days/weeks/months/years, hopefully all of which shall be documented now that I have this blog.
Well I think that's enough for tonight, so I will sign off for now!
Catch you all on the flip-side
Ryan!
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